Continuing On With Memories

While writing the last post I was flooded with memories. I dug through my papers and found the folder with my journal from my first trip to Haiti. I am transcribing it here. So many things changed so quickly and now the hospital is in a permanent building and with a much smaller staff.

When I go back to Haiti I want to work with Jordan, see how I can help him succeed. He is such a special man.

My day 1 journal is a blog already so I will begin with day 2.
Tuesday, January 19th
Hospital Beds 75-80Adults 70-80 Kids
15,000 square feet of tents, OR's, and Supplies in a 1 acre space.

New Porta Potty opened last night and I used it first! It's the small things for me.

Not sure what to write today. It's sad to see how this scene affects the workers. My little tent is somewhat of a safe haven for nurses when they "just need a moment".

It's just two weeks post earthquake and the people being brought here are critical. Some patients are on DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) orders from the the Dr.'s. The families cannot understand why the nurses aren't doing anything to help the patient, to keep them alive and the nurses have to explain to the family why they are no longer able to help the loved one when the aren't breathing or go in to arrest. With the language barrier and the busy hospital words get confused and the families think they are letting their family member die or worst case, killing them. All I can do is pull them up a chair, get them a tissue and let them be alone.

I was so exhausted yesterday and it felt like the clock was going backwards. Once I was in bed (12:30a after a spit bath) I zonked out until 7:30a. The tent has a/c at night. The generator kicks on (not sure what time) but I chose a cot next to one of the generators near the back of the tent. All I could hear was the generator going and not snoring or talking. It was great. I woke up at some point and was freezing! I pulled the sleeping bag over me and went back to sleep.

What I have learned in just 34 hours:
Indoor plumbing is great. I will never take for granted the sound of a flush toilet.
I can sweat for 2 days without a shower and live through it.
Baby wipes are great and don't just wipe babies.
I'm a 41 year old with a mild diaper rash; yes it can happen.
People have huge hearts.

This evening after "dinner" the patients began singing hymns. I could spend hours trying to come up with the words to describe what it felt like to be dirty and hot and tired and then hear the beautiful voices begin to sing praise but I'd fall short. These people are mangled, scarred, they are amputees and some have head wounds, broken limbs and sick babies. They have no home nothing, and what do they do? The SING! They Praise! It was unbelievable. All workers within earshot piled in to the hospital tent to listen and join in clapping and singing. Doctors, nurses, aides, all crying. It was a moment I'll never forget, there are no words.

Day 3

Being here is like camp albeit a sad, wounded, helicopters flying over in a M*A*S*H episode kind of way camp but what I mean by "camp" is the bond with the others. There are groups here from all over the world. One of the nurses, Dee, who has been in Haiti for 10 days and working with the wound patients came to say good-bye tonight. She had gone around and said good-bye to all of her patients and I could see how much she cared and how emotional it was for her. She's leaving these people she has tended to since 4 days post earthquake and now must say good-bye not knowing what will happen to them.

Dee came in to the wound care tent to say bye to me. She told me that I've done a great job and she feels that because of the care I showed to the team that every wound they dressed, I dressed too and every person they helped to heal I help to heal too. I was floored and since this is a night for tears...well you know.

A lot of the children here are orphans. Every day a group leaves for the orphanage, it's so sad.

Day 4

Another baby born last night! Wow! It's such an amazing sight to see the scrunched up face of a brand new baby, to hear the cries and see the happiness this brings to the medical staff. All day yesterday the nurses were in and out of the tent checking on the momma and just waiting for when the baby would be born. They have all seen birth before but these babies are special, they represent hope and a fresh start here in a place where all day what we see are sheets placed gently over the face of someone who died and the somber, sad looks of the families and volunteers. A baby!

Today I look around at everyone working and pitching in and just doing what has to be done. I wonder what's on the news at home? Is it still on nightly? Or has everyone moved on to who's dating Madonna or which girl was kicked off of The Bachelor? My priorities have changed...boy have they changed.

So many amputees. Kids, babies, teens, adults, elderly. Unbelievably sad and even more so when you understand that in Haiti amputees don't get work, it's a stigma. I am sure this will change with the coming years because of so many amputations, they won't have a choice. Also sad that the patients don't want PT because this will help them get better, if they get better they get discharged, no where to go. As long as they are in the hospital their family gets 3 meals a day. Rice and beans, chicken noodle soup and water. Nothing outside the camp for them. I am told this situation is being worked on but we can tell the citizens are getting restless; we have gun shot wounds coming in and we can hear the shots and honks and yelling outside the walls of the camp. I am safe here in the camp which is more than I can say for the people outside in the street.

I've also been thinking about travel and how important it is to get out there and see the world. If you haven't traveled this is just another disaster about people in a third world country. If you've traveled and experienced life in other countries and lived in their culture then you see that these people are just like you and me. Their hearts beat just like mine, they smile and cry and love, just like me. They deserve a good life.

It's past mid-night, I'm over emotional.

Ate my first MRE today! Spaghetti and meatballs, pb & crackers. I skipped the raisins and the oatmeal cookie. It wasn't half bad. A bunch of MRE's were shipped in and are on pallets in the sleeping tent. You know it's been a lean few days if I am excited about an MRE!

.......Final Day, already time to go and I am NOT ready. Will work most of the morning and then take off for home.

Not processing this yet. So sad.

It's Been A While...but I'mmmmm Baacckkkk!

Hello all. It has been way too long since I bucked up and wrote in this blog. I was intimidated by someone who didn't like my writing. Too many grammatical errors. I quit writing out of fear. Really?! I had the most intense times of my life in Haiti, learned the most I've ever learned in my life and saw things that you would think would teach me to NOT be intimidated by the small things.

Well, I'm back.

Someone else said to me this last weekend. Get over it, you're a teacher and people listen to you so just get over it. Write. No matter what.

Since coming back from Las Vegas in April a lot has changed. I came back after spending 5 days with my Haiti friends talking and basically coming down from the last trip to PAP. Speaking to a great group of people, talking with and singing with this crowd that was so hyped up to help out the people of Haiti. Speaking with these people and telling about my time at Project Medishare again and again made me realize just how materialistic I was and I wanted to pare down big time, I wanted to change.

If you spoke to my friends and family I think they'd say I was a lot of things other than materialistic but truth is I have a nice car, a nice home, I'm never hungry, I have my health, my friends and my family. We are accessible to each other and able to be here for each other. I came home from Las Vegas and said, 'We've been talking about selling the house and moving and starting fresh. We've wanted to change our lives for years, let's do it.'

Three weeks later the house was on the market, we had done one purge on the house and I had mentally moved on. Fast forward through the summer where I kept in touch with Jordan and we put money in to a pay pal account for him to get his passport and to take care of his family. Good thoughts and prayers were all I could give Haiti over the summer.

Mid-August the house went under contract and the job of packing up the house, getting all of the inspections (which frankly turned in to a nightmare), finding contacts in Phoenix, etc. and the next thing you know it's beginning of November and we're house free, packed and on the road.

Thanks to my friends (thank you Christine) and family (thanks Amy, thanks Lee!), and Laura Maurice from The Purple Cow who held a shoe drive at her store I was able to pack up 3 large boxes of kids shoes and clothing for the school in Fontamara, Haiti.

Now in Arizona looking for work. I was asked what I wanted for my birthday and I said, 'I want to go to Haiti!' So I am now looking for airfare and dates and hope to be leaving for 2 weeks to help at the school late November or early December!
Yeah!

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt